Home from the Hopsital

I am home from the hospital now and really just starting to feel better and up to blogging. So here is what happened over last several days in which may have started the biggest change in my life outside of my wedding day and the birth of my daughter.

Wednesday

I got to the hospital (Lancaster General) around 8:30 AM after a night with very little sleep.  I really tried to stay "numb" as I did not want to get myself worked-up.  Plus I had to be the big macho man for my wife's benefit if not my own.  While I was not as nervous as I thought I would be,  I just wanted to get through the surgery and be in hospital my room.  The Versed also helped in taking the edge off. The last thing I remember is being taken to the OR and seeing Dr. Brader and the anesthesiologist.

Ironically my biggest fear was waking up in recovery with the breathing tube in place; which apparently is what happened. I was told later by Dr Brader and my wife, I "freaked out" and tried to remove the tube on my own.  Luckily there were about 5 guys there to prevent me from doing that. The good news is that I have no memory of that, for which I am very thankful.  I had a normal surgery other that a power failure in the OR, and a stuck NG tube, which added some extra time to the procedure.  My surgeon, to say the least, was not happy that his instruments were not on a battery back-up and he had to wait twenty minutes for them to come back online.  Dr. Brader assured me that I was never in any danger and I am sure he will correct that issue with the hospital. 

I was back in my room by late afternoon.  I was in a lot a pain and I was extremely nauseous.  The whole night really seems like a blur, as I lived in 10 minute increments waiting for my PCA pump to allow another dose of morphine.  I must be honest and say it was a very long night and I really didn't sleep. I questioned why the hell I did this to myself. So I just kept thinking tomorrow would be better and I just need to get through this. In the middle of the night my morphine pump broke and it took them a couple of hours to get it replaced.  If I was not so miserable, I think I would have been very upset. 

Thursday

So after a very long night it was now time for by swallow test.  Keep in mind that I have not had anything to drink since Tuesday at midnight and I was a dry as the desert, still in a lot of pain and VERY nauseous. My swallow test consisted of drinking some very nasty tasting fluid and watching it on an X-Ray work it's way through my new pouch.  Actually this was not a bad I imagined it being and the test showed no leaks in any of the new connections.  I was "good" shape.  I was also assured I made the right choice in surgeons as Dr Brader actually performs his own test.  I would imagine that many others delegate this duty to the Rad/Tech staff.  It was certainly nice to see him there.  


Once the test was finished it was back to my room and I could now get some liquids.  Water never tasted so good.  I was shocked that I could be happy and thankful for drinking an 1/8th of an ounce at a time.  I was also given some oral pain medication which worked much better for me than the morphine did.  Sadly the rest of Thursday and most Thursday night were very difficult for me.  I was have a lot of gas pain from the surgery and was very nauseous still.  I was told prior to surgery that walking was the only way to get rid of the gas and relieve the pain.  So I did many laps around the unit all day and most of the night.  I remember around 1 AM Friday morning deciding to walk until the pain went away.  I prayed as I walked that I had enough and needed some relief.  I must have walked around the hallways for 40 minutes with out stop.  Thankfully, my prayers were answered and the gas began to dissipate relieving the pain.  

Friday
By the morning I was feeling better.  Better than I thought I was ever going to feel again.  It had been a long couple of days. I really wondered during that time if I had done the right thing and questioned if I would always feel this way   But after a shower, which felt great, and positive lab results I was ready to go home.   I slept most of the day on Friday, which also helped me feel much better.


It was nice to have so many of my friends stop by or call with their well wishes and support. It would have been impossible to get through with out this.  My wife really looked out for me, so I never really worried about what was happening and I was able to focus on the moment and quite frankly get through what I needed to get through.  The hospital staff was excellent and they really understood and help me manage through my stay.  This was definitely the hardest thing I have ever done.  But now that I am home I am try to get into my new routine and adjust to two weeks of liquids.  Hope I get through this a little easier than my last couple of days.  I am very anxious to see how much I am able to lose in the next couple of weeks, keeping my fingers crossed.